malam di hutan

malam ini
aku hinjak segala panorama hijau-hijau
yang leka mencuit sedikit demi sedikit hujung rongga
dengan deruan angin yang makin bersahaja
setelah hujan enggan bermain lagi.
insaf aku
bila halwa telinga memainkan muzik bukan manusia
sahut-sahutan unggas bercerita
tentang segalanya mengenai syurga
lalu sembunyikan segala keresahan yang membelenggu
sejak aku mula punya akal dan risau.
segala daun-daun tua yang jatuh longlai
menari ke kiri lalu kanan
lalu terbaring lemah atas air luas tak berwarna.
setapak melangkah lalu mencerminkan diri pada air.
ada nampak aku, bintang, bulan dan juga awan.
cantik hasil tuhan lantas melirik bibir aku puas
dengan hati yang masih dapat rasa
dan masih mampu menghayati ciptaan agung si Maha Satu.

dan saya sunyi

it's like talking to the ol' lady moon above
walking off to the dessert of Sahara in the deepest night
sharing stories with a roach
while your cat stares at you with uncertainties linger in her eyes
it's pretty much like a virus outbreak
and you are the only person alive
or seating on your leather sofa at 3 a.m
texting to non-existance someone
with smooth riding Jazz music flowing subtly in your ears
forcing every bit of your brain to compose a poem.
it's like everything is nothing
and your mind keeps contemplating.
it's like watching a silent movie
with a set of earphone stuck in your ear
no music whatsoever.
it's like a vacuum and and the black hole
sucking you closer to other's intervention
except there are none
but you.

Syuhada

Waktu belum menangis untuk kau tinggalkan nyawa.
sendirian tak berteman
kosong terperap dalam sangkar buruk lagi busuk.
jiwa kosong menunggu panggilan
kau bukan manusia mudah berhenti jalan
dan serahkan segalanya pada tuhan.
tak tertiup sangkar kala untuk kau mengeluh
lalu mendongak awan.
tanah subur tinggalan pejuang
untuk semua lumpur dan keringat peluh.
masih basah untuk kau cepat lepaskan
lawan kau tetap lawan
kerana itu yang engkau pegang.
minum sisa ilmu pegangan imam.
sampai hari bila bumi terlalu jelek untuk jadi saksi
atas segala seksaan, hinaan malapetaka segala tuduhan
yang kau terima.
dan bila akhirnya badan jatuh tinggal nyawa.
berhenti juga ia untuk kau bernafas semula
dan tiap nyawa yang pergi datang semula
lalu bawa kau masuk syurga.
dan pasti tersenyum bukan kerana itu yang kau mahukan
kerana jalan itu hampir sampai ke penghujungnya.

my innocence

I want you to die so I can breath free
happy and unnoticed without neither a slight guilt nor remorse
to play with the thought of unforgiven
that lingers everytime you were there
tempting me with faith i know I will never touch
I want to have the life I can lead to
not the one you tricked me into
with your wickedness
and your subtlest way possible
I want to be the one who fights you.
If tomorrow comes and rain still fall heavily on me
I want it wash you away and never set sail again
let you rot by the shore and die with my past
so I can start my dawn and have a cup of tea with my dearest bliss
my innocence is reaching me from within
caressing the purity and harnessing the light I have long crave for
but you whom I despise is still the master
and linger you still until the day you finally vanish.
O Lord, I hold still.
give me the strength so light prevails in me.

Bual jiwa

Jiwa tanya hati.
kalau kau mahu mati,
siapa yang kau mahu bawa.
Hati kata...
aku bawa kau.
kerna kalau manusia tahu.
Jiwa lebih berharga dari aku.

Aku manusia.
Sudah punya jiwa itu.

World...another beginning

The world crumbles as man sacrifices the wisdom.
attached to them spirits.
the kindred memory.
insignificant and redundant.
the eventually.
it goes on and just on.

the world is ending.
and man knows nothing.
waiting patiently.
for world to struck revenge.
hits back at the misery
and resume to the vow of judgement.

to witness the assembly.
and smile back to us lots.
pathetic sad little humble souls.
we all deserve the inevitable verdict.
for what we intentionally did.
for everything we all did.

and when it all ends.
maybe the once strong wind
will blow the one horn back.
and give the live to those who actually deserve
hence gamble its long foretold fate.

and green lives on.

Tunggu Sebentar

Cinta...
Kau rindu aku tidak?
ada walau sesaat kau terfikir mahu singgah.
jenguk-jenguk aku walau satu saat.
dalam seluruh dunia.
kalau aku mahu kau singgah.

Cinta...
kalau hari telah jadi ceria.
kau bagaimana?
mahu kau berhenti sekejap.
memberanikan diri
kalau-kalau aku sudah bosan sendiri.

Kau cinta?
tidak pernah bosan atau saja.
bekerja keras membanting nyawa
untuk hati-hati
yang mungkin tidak berhak untuk kau puji.

datanglah.
jenguk-jenguk kalau aku punya masa.

Cinta...
aku tahu kau cukup sediri.
misteri tak berbelah bahagi.
lebih tahu dari semua hati.
kerna tuhan letak ilmu itu untuk kau yang punya.

kita berdua juga masing-masing tahu.
antara kau dan aku.
banyak hari lagi harus kau tunggu.
kerna aku masih senyap untuk mahu.

cukup sudah...kau pergilah

Udah kau berhenti sahaja
meluat cukup sudah dengan segala kebobrokan panji-panji palsu
kata-kata nista kau kononnya seorang pembawa kepala
tapi yang kami nampak hanya nyawa gilakan harta

bebelan karut persis ular bercabang lidah
menyalak bukan untuk hantu
bukan pada anjing
bukan untuk pandang di bawah.

namun janji kosong tak pernah sudah.
kami sudah cukup bosan
bosan menanti tumbang dan karam kapal kamu
biar mati lemas
mati tinggal ajal
mati tak tentu pasal
asal kau pergi
sudah puas cukup hati
hidup kami takkan ada kesal.

life and death

the calling of which is certain
in days full of mirages
uncertainties speak its true colours
naked...

time holds still
sky turns to pitch black
untill its ready to open the gap
and all hell breaks loose.

there is a storm inside the heart
clouding the judgement of the betterment
when misery come and visit
we, human will fall and sprawl.

mimpi aku

aku baca satu demi satu karangan puisi kamu itu
cuba sampai mati mahu mengerti apa makna mudah
di balik kata-kata indah kamu yang aku anggap puteri syurga
memujuk ego dalam diri yang itu semua tak berkaitan dengan aku
tapi entah kenapa.
aku rasa kau dekat dengan aku.
aku kenal simbol yang dulu aku dan kau lukiskan
suatu masa ketika aku pandang mata kau dalam
dan kau mengerti lalu senyum
dan waktu petang indah jadi simbol sampai maya tutup mata.
aku mahu bait itu untuk aku
kerana hati kuat berkata begitu
dunia yang aku ciptakan untuk kita
kau ungkapkan secara bayang malam.
anggap saja aku gila
atau mengajar perasaan menjadi bodoh semata
tapi aku tahu kata itu untuk aku
dan aku mahu kau tahu
aku tunggu kau di dunia itu.

kerana fajar itu adalah aku.
kerana mimpi itu untuk aku
kerana aku rasa kamu
dan rasa aku tak mungking membohongi aku.

saying

nobody knows
what tomorrow brings
but why don't
we just try

aku mati

kalaupun esok aku mati
kau mahukah lawat aku?
datang cari aku dan pulangkan senyum aku kembali
kalaulah kau datang
kau sudi buang masa dengan aku
mahu kau teman aku
dan buang buang hidup kau yang satu itu?
kalaupun kau teman aku
janji kau pada aku
tetap juga kau simpan sampai jadi api
aku tetap mati juga.
mati seorang diri.....

puisi cinta

pergi matahari datang dan pergi
datang bulan lindung gelap
rindu hari pada malam
hilang arah angin hampa
cinta adam pada hawa
rindu uda kelibat dara
renung Yusuh luruh Zulaikha
tawan balqis dari Sulaiman
akan datang segala nista
bila cinta gagal lara
bila lara jadi hina
si kaya tidak berjiwa
andai jiwa gagal cinta
berhenti kata seluruh maya
dalam mata ada syurga
hilang rindu cambah setia
ada semua ada cinta
antara aku dengan dia

ramadhan

tingkat dua bas double decker
tadi sebelah ada tetamu tapi entah apa berlaku
tetamu tak muncul lepas bas berenti rehat ambil waktu
bas meluncur atas jalan luas
mungkin dulu tak terlintas akal
mungkin ini hasil asal
yang kini entah sejarah entah sampah
aku antara sibuk isi karang puisi dalam
perut bernyanyi kosong
maklum musafir ketika hari-hari bulan puasa
sebentar tadi baru lepas jentera besi penuh isi.
dan aku pasti aku masih di kawasan berhampiran
asal darah aku tumpah
lontar pandang jauh ke luar
aku lihat awan lihat langit lihat alam
entah kenapa hati redup antara waktu aku pandang
dan matahari jatuh tukar bulan
menonon semut besi berlainan warna bertukar ganti
sambil telinga harung segala kata anak muda
tempoh masih jauh masih awal jalan aku
masih banyak hadiah tuhan untuk aku simpan dalam hati
bila sampai semua sudah bertukar ganti
dan aku yang tak berhati
sambung hidup macam biasa
sampai waktu diri datang dan aku juga hidup kembali.

coke and menthol

coke and menthol
that's all I had last night
kind of stupid but I guess cool enough for me
most of it is only me.

coke and menthol
I blame all but not me
coke and menthol not worthy of all it

since quitting is an option
i took my whole pride to achieve it

coke is ok and menthol is bloody
I need a headstart
and get serious with my inner me.

coke and menthol is all i had
coke is ok and menthol is plain stupid

but I guess that is just me

menthol and coke
how foolish I can seriously be.

at nights when the sky shimmers thy life with thousand stars
and serenate the joy of just born infant
i could sense your existance.
that you are hiding back behind the patchy ol' moon
shying your angelic wings and just wishing me luck
for bold enough to love those little souls.
I could sense your pain
your unbearable solemn pain if only you know the meaning of that world
I see your empty smiles
the one you regret the most to give
but I understand and I have no intention to overshadow your tales of memories.
maybe in the summer when the sun shines the most
and hills that once forgotten during the winter
can serve you right with that checkered red and white mat
letting you sit and sing your song of happiness you wanted the most.
finally killing yout left by whoever it concerns
your bitter pretence to its end.
my unintended.

ode to masquarade

we danced in the rain
we danced at the back of the stage
we laughed aloud
we laughed together
we sang the song
we sang our song
we dreamt the same dream
we dreamt our own dream
we smiled together
we smiled at our own stupidity
we barked at each other
we barked for the fun of it
we cried at petty things
we cried too many
some lost the love of their life
others bring it to the end of eternity
some left us in the middle of the journey
lots of us stay as a family
some have started their different path
some still dance to the same music
some may see us in different story
but we know it all that we still recite our own fantasy
some may die through the passing tide
others may watch and smile
but truth lies in the heart
we still share the same part.

life

i want to drink the glass i bought last week...but it's empty
try to open the fridge so i can eat instead...but it's empty
i move my overweight body to the simple undecorated living room of mine...but it's empty.
so i walk out of the house hoping to feel the hussle of city...but it's empty
I try to dive into the river to see them fishes...but it's empty
i step outside the river and try to figure out what is happening...but it's empty

so i see
i smile
and i keep walking

KLIA

sudah terlalu lama kaki ini tidak kesini
di tapak luas yang dulunya hijau tapi kini
berubah menjadi lapangan burung-burung
besi pergi dan kembali.
malam ini aku gagahkan juga kaki ini
walau niat tidak berasaskan ia juga
dengan puntung rokok sejuk yang aku pegang dari sudah tadi
aku lawati setapak lalu setapak ke jejak yang dulu cukup tegal bagi aku.
dalam hati berdesik...
'malam ini aku lawat engkau kembali'
angin deras melambai-lambai muka bersih selaput misai janggut tak bercukur
mata kecil menahan pedih angin malam yang tetap sama seingat aku
tapi bibir aku tersenyum sedikit.
menahan ego yang aku dulu pernah bersatu.
bunyi kuat deruman burung-burung buatang hamba tuhan
semerdu lagu syurga dunia yang aku masih hafal setiap bait-bait nada.
cukup indah.
aku pandang ke langit
langit masih gelap macam dulu.
lampu bertiang masih angkuh berdiri kaku...sama macam dulu.
manusia kuar masuk berlainan suku tapi keadaan masih macam dulu.

betullah. keindahan alam.
ikhlasnya hati bercinta dengan alam juga takkan berubah.
yang berubah waktu.
tapi alam masih begitu. kan?

puteri

engkau datang dalam diam bawa terang
dengan terang tanpa bayang tanpa siang tanpa hilang
datang dengan senyum yang hanya hati dapat karang
tapi yang datang cuma bayang kerna engkau datang tanpa kesan
engkau datang bawak rindu
persis angin kala bayu melambai pantai
tidak terlihat jasad itu tapi aku tahu
aku rasa angin itu...
engkau datang tapi jauh
bukan kaku tak sekali layu jadi datang saja tiap waktu
sebab aku walau sesaat pasti tunggu

engkau puteri itu
engkau wajah itu
engkau rindu itu
engkau lagukan hidup waktu.

mimpi

dear my forever love
I dreamt of you..
again, last night.

you came to me.
in a room.not too shabby.
enough to make me felt you.

you were smiling.
to me.to me alone.
full with radiance and a joy of an infant
your beautiful smile, i won't ever forget it.

we made love.
so passionate that could only
resemble the fogs and the icy midst.
I feel you.

you whispered it to my ears.
soft and lovely.
the words that hit me with the desire.
of wanting to ever remember it.
till the last breath of my life.
you said it.

in my dreams.
you said,
you will always be the one that I love the most.

and I woke up.
and I still feel you.

that life of a sea eel

swimming around in the world where life matters the most
befriended with that drunk red choking crab
drooling over the star crescent
and swinging in the sound of an orchestra
forget the past if it only brings the best of you out of town
keep in mind that the world is only there for those who only care to die
let it toys you up in the head
so you can suave around and
down with all the lies that once shined down
the sky.
dance to the theatre of dreams
sing the lullaby of a thousand nights
if there is a bye keep it until the after
you might need then so use it there.

for all I care, I care
those I don't give a damn. be it.

gelap malam

kaki melangkah sama nada
menyusup jalan yang tidak bertanda tapi
hati keras memujuk teruskan sahaja.
mungkinkah?
atau hati itu bukan ia cuma bisikan syaitan yang
hanya suka menyesatkan?
tapi aku terus jalan sahaja.

Malam itu gelap.
tiada cahaya tapi aku nampak hujung sana ada bulan.
tap entah kenapa bulan nampak kecil sahaja.
malah tak seperti biasa,
cahaya bulan tak tersampai menerangi jalan aku.

entah lorong entah denai tapak kaki aku sentuh.
sebab tiada cahaya jadi jalan sahaja.
cukuplah dengan rasa selesa yang aku rasa
sebab aku tahu bila masa tiba
matahari tu muncul juga.

you

you are my Kalahari over sweet odour of spring
So vast with colours and smooth sultry of the wind

You are the music that whispers

that whispers in the month of May.

the one that dives

into my ears

over my long endless night.

and you...

I missed you like the heaven misses Adam and Eve.

How am I to stand above to compare me with thee.

for nothing that the universe has now is suffice to your nyphm beauty.

all that I bare now is complete

when you stand and I see.

For you are beautiful

and I am just me.

To the cloudy night I stand to the shadow of sheet

overlooking the joy that the world present

when you came within.

with you as an angel sent down to make me happy.

I will surely die as a humble mortal tale

of a thousand stories.

tunggu hujan turun

Hari itu yang mendung
guruh sudah mula bernyanyi
awan lari tutup matahari
aku masih memandang datang bintang.

hari itu yang mendung
aku mati menunggu waktu
masih termanggu persis manusia dungu
enggan berganjak dari tanah yang aku injak.

aku berdiri sambil jadi saksi
menunggu hujan yang masih
tak sudi teman aku
masih sombong memberitahu.

hari itu alam sepi
ada manusia ada semua
tapi masing-masing perhati aku
aku yang masih kaku berdiri.

ke kiri tak juga bergerak
ke kanan pun tidak jugak.
cuma menunggu rintik hujan timpa aku
dan terus memberitahu apa perlu aku tahu.

Hari itu darah berhenti gerak
nafas selesa dapat rehat
mata yang ada aku pandang sepuasnya.
tanpa kelip menatap awan gelap.

hari itu hujan turun bagai taufan
tanpa guruh tanpa petir berebut hujan pukul aku
tak terlepas seinci badan
basah semuanya tiada yang tinggal.

hari itu hujan datang
aku tersenyum.
berjalan darah ke seluruh badan
puas nafas bertiup menghidupkan aku.

bergerak kaki setapak ke depan
bersorak alam membisikkan kata pujian.
hujan yang datang membuka jalan
jalan yang aku tahu penuh dengan senyuman.

wasn't there

I was not far
I watched you from there
I smiled
because you looked priceless

I was there
though you didn't see me
though you didn't notice me
I was there as I once promised you.

I wanted to come and say hi
but I didn't have the guts
I wanted to give you this sense of happiness
but I was not there

I was there
looking at you
feeling close to you
like I used to.

dear soul

goodnight dear misery.
I'll rest my soul now so I can be with you again tomorrow.
when I wake up.
please hold me tight as I might forget the warmth of your body.

hey there lonely.
please stay beside me
as I am about to start dreaming.
flourish me with ol' tales of your past.
so i can understand you better then.

don't go my lovely silence.
entertain me with your music of nothingness
and lit my passion
with your flaming desire.
your presence is most cherished
and I am still wanting you.

and you my beautiful yesterday.
my perfect yesterday.
know that I expect to see you
when these eyes ready to face the day again.

I will lead you with my hand
and watch you making my breakfast.
making me the best meal ever.
and let happiness watch us with all the jealousy of the world.
and let love suffers all the suffering she could bare.

when that happens
help me my dear hope.
remind me over and over again
that I am still alive
and that I will see misery again
at the end of the day
when these eyes ready to rest its wings again.

Kau Palestin

Kau Palestin senyum mu tika musibah tak henti melanda
tangis mu bila mata hanya memandang tanpa ingin rasa derita bersama.
Tanpa rasa belas perasan sesaudara
dan kau hanya terus berjuang sendiri.

Kau Palestin tanah tumpah nabi-nabi dari Tuhan yang satu
tanah yang di injak Rasul akhir bila di angkat untuk bertemuNya.
Lalu di kurniakan kepada kau hari ini
pewaris tanah suci tinggalan Baginda .

Kau Palestin tempat anak-anak membesar
membesar sebagai pejuang jalan yang benar
meletak maruah lebih dari segala kemewahan dunia
demi menjejak keredhaan di satu masa
bila bumi berhenti bernyawa.


Kau Palestin tanah segala kebahagiaan ibu-ibu tua
Bahagia kerana mereka tahu mayat yang dibolosi
peluru anjing hitam bintang David
menjawab syahid bagi Anak mereka.

(buat anak-anak Palestin yang telah 50 tahun dikongkong syaitan dunia)

your shadow

As I stand on this old wooden creak
Overlooking the bright sun ready to succumb with its aging years
Stiff as it is.
I wave your shadow goodbye.

Though it is hard to gaze away
And pretend that life I once had is exceptionally perfect
You will always remind me of everything.
An almost something that constantly changing
And that I can never touch and sense the warmth of it again.

I smile though tears seem too friendly to pour down from my sad eyes.
Celebrating the days you wanted the most but not me.
I fully understand that you are now a page of yesterday
And I have to let you go.

Your lips will forever remain within
For nothing can force me to ever forget the sweetness of it
Not in this life or another
Not if I still believe.

berdiri kaki seperti kasi

Sakit hati ini tiap kali terfikirkan kau
Atas segala perbuatan kau yang tak sedikitpun
Melambangkan kau seorang manusia
Tapi entah kenapa aku terus diam

Marah benar aku bila kau perdengarkan diri
Bangga menyalakkan propaganda kau yang palsu
Membonceng segala kuasa yang kau kuasai
Tapi apa aku mampu lakukan bila hati tetap terkunci

Sedihnya naluri bila melihatkan kekejaman itu
Terbumkam, tersiksa, terkorban pejuang-pejuang ku
Meninggalkan hari ini untuk kemuliaan esok

Tapi aku tetap di sini kaku seperti batu menunggu laku
Kenapa begitu kecutnya aku yang selama ini menjeritkan panji- panji
Tentang kemenangan yang hakiki walau tidak seinjak kaki berlari
Malulah aku bila hanya aku yang terpinggir
Dari cinta sejati kurniaan tuhan kepada yang mati
Yang mati demi jalannya sedangkan aku tetap begini
Menunggu dan menunggu hari-hari penuh hipokrasi…

selamat malam

Selamat malam…

Bilamana mimpi ini kau ingkari
Hanya kerna hati yang kau miliki
Aku pandang sepi dan terlepas tak di sedari

Lalu datang angin sejuk
Yang penuh dengan suci tanpa kemuliaan
Yang entah benar atau tidak niat hati
Hanya tuhan yang maha tahu tapi sinis mata pandangan ku

Memandikan kekosongan yang belum sempat kukosongkan
Dengan tari manis kata-kata yang hebat arjunanya
Sehingga kau terhenti bernafas dan merelakan segalanya
Untuk mengungkap kata sayang pada yang tidak empunya

Selamat malam…
Bilamana kini semuanya tidak bererti
Selagi tidak bulatnya hati ini
Lari dari segala persoalan demi sayang yang tidak tahu jujurnya

Tertanya dan tertanyalah aku
Adakah benar atau salah pujangga yang aku mainkan
Adakah terbalas apa yang tidak terbalaskan
Atau lupakah aku dengan angin yang suatu ketika pernah kau relakan ingkari

Benarkah ini jalan yang menggembirakan aku?
Atau kau yang tetap masih aku sayangi
Yang masih keras dan keliru dengan perkara yang aku sendiri patut luruskan
Tapi enggan kerna sayang ini jugalah yang masih menghalang…untuk kau

Andai benarlah cinta aku suci dan utuh hati ku untuk ku perjuangkan
Menentang ke tidak tentuan yang ciptaan kau
Maka butalah hati ku dan tulilah kata halus ku
Demi kau aku terus mimpi dengan penuh pengharapan

Selamat malam
Kerna aku tetap mahu bermimpi…

Death V2.o

Dear Death

My sights are gone for what left is only me
Thick and bold I dare say that it is only me
For everything that is sweet in this world has left me
Hollowed and shrieked nothing could be done to undone my fight

So much that I missed I’d learn to be happy
Even for a second I would change, I would change it eternally
But not living in this hole where everything is so dark and cold
It soften my soul and for each passing howl.

Nothing that I pictured could even spare me
Roses, widows, babies and death itself
Are but a nightmare, it confuses me as a whole

My nights are blind so days are old
I want to go and why can’t you let me…
And be where I belong
Away but not here, peaceful and serene
For I am a man and I knew it was all me

Let me live my place where I should always belong.

I swear to God

I swear to God that I love this feeling
The feeling a child could only ask for
Every time his birthday twinks around
Wrapping off daddy’s little red present
On the night when the old watch turns itself past twelve

So much that happened I swear to God I started to become restless
The same sound I heard with the exact view I loosely watched
All the jokes that seems worthless yet so unbearable I enjoy it
And the sad part of being in the state of loneliness that I can’t imagine how could it end.

So like the child I do wait for my watch to do its job
Waiting and gazing, so patiently I hold dear
Until the sound erupted
And the side of happiness that is so long gone
I Could not have wait to say hello to this blank hole

So no matter how silly it is
Know that it may not last long as I hope for
Or how uncertain it can lead me to only disappointment
I swear to God will enjoy it no matter what

Because the sweet taste of it is unthinkable right now
And the stream of blood that I grew up with since forever
In my body says how beautiful it is
And how wish I could enjoy it to the days that will come

As long as I stay at this circle
As long tomorrow will come
And my life will always be at its best part…

A child….

Aku Manusia Bodoh

Aku yang membenci diri sendiri.
tak sudah-sudah membodohkan diri.
Menjudikan maruah demi sesuatu yang belum
masanya aku terima.

Pincang aku yang hebat ini.
Punya filosofi, punya visi tersendiri.
tapi masih mentah dalam dunia realiti.
alahai...diri aku.

aku yang malu dengan diri.
tak sudah-sudah membodohkan diri.
Tak pernah penat memalukan diri.
tak cukup faham masalah sendiri.

Nak menyesal bukan aku.
ego yang tinggal dah sebahagian lari.
Nak memandang muka malu.
mahu tak mahu terima sahaja pahit kelat
yang sendiri carik.

itulah aku.
Manusia bodoh itu.
masih belajar tentang diri
masih mengenal realiti.

suicide note

suicide note

good night.
I,
die.
good bye, time goes by.
and fly.
tonight,
the end of life.
between me and you.
son.
forgive me. I, all the mistakes
inflicted upon you.
I, die.
so you. can smile.
so you can fly.
tonight.
it ends.
everything ends tonight.
and you.
you can start tomorrow.

and wave

though I have a life of my own.
your shadow still haunts me at night.
playing like a song of wonderland
and drills my dream of the past.
I have again and again try to walk off the tale
I created with you.
yet I found myself stumble upon your face.
longing to visit my bittersweet memory.
the ghost of you that brings me the torture of life.
somehow ended as my source of serendipity.
wrapping me tight against my hatred over you.
I find myself blocked and torn apart.
and hate myself for the fact that I cannot hate you.
more so to leave you behind.
though I seem to care less.
the truth is that I will always be.
never once I looked down upon you.
not a single day I missed my pray for you to smile.

angin Malam

angin malam kau hembuskan
nafas aku jauh ke dasar laut.
kau salurkan benang-benang sutera hati
manusia tentang cinta.
tentang apa yang aku rasa.
tentang damai sejuk malam.
yang mengizinkan kita terus hidup.
tentang alam kurniaan tuhan
yang kita endahkan sentiasa.
angin malam kau khabarkan pada manusia.
yang buruk itu datang dari kita.
cukup sudah benci beraja.
cukup lelah semua tentang dusta.
aku cukup penat dengan segala bobrok
yang kita taja.
dengan perang yang tak pernah sudah.
aku enggan melihat anak-anak menangis lagi.
cukup sudah memandang bunga kembang separuh hati.
kau angin malam sebarkan ke setiap nyawa
manusia-manusia yang haus.
tentang damai yang aku rasa.
tentang cerita yang aku kata.
biarkan mereka tahu.
antara putus asa aku masih rasa syurga.
antara setiap derita aku masih dengar indahnya dunia.
angin malam kau bangkitkan mereka.
rasakan apa yang aku rasa.
ceritakan tentang bila malam datang.
tentang hanya ada bintang di angkasa.

flower

I beautify me...
from my thick head to toe
i purify within my soul.
giving all of my heart
I crawl of my life box
my solitary little wooden box.
and bloom as I destined to be.
a flower for the bee.
a flower that is me...
my petal is honesty
my torn is all the anger in me.
my root is family
and my bud is what beautify me...

alam

aku yang terpasung di dalam
bilik kayu kecil bertemankan papan-papan tua
beralaskan permaidani usang
sambil mendengar sang anai-anai bernyanyi
seperti mengejek aku yang berkhalwat keseorangan
antara jasad dan minda.
bunyi pusing kipas..
ketuk-ketuk solo pensil aku..
batuk-batuk kecil yang mengantuk
sudah cukup memberitahu..
namun bukan semua aku terpasung.
fikiran masih bebas.
walau badan enggan gerak, kaku seribu batu.
tapi aku biarkan akal bebas menerawang.
menjelajah di setiap hijau rumpun disatukan Tuhan.
menjejak pasir-pasir pantai yang putih.
seperti aku yang mungkin ke syurga.
mendengar seru ombak yang sopan menghentak
badai sambil pantai senyum berbisik
pendengaran aku.
hujan yang rintik
semakin rakus membasahi kudus aku.
senyum-senyum awan yang seakan merahmati
perjalananku kali ini...
perlahan jasad aku mendengus..."cantik kau awan".

love is truly there

why does the owl surrender his life
for that fairy moon?
what good does it do to him?
why does the sandy beach
enslave herself to such abuse
when all the wave do is to hit her?

why does Romeo fell in love?
so foolishly fell in love and die for that
pretty lass.
why does she put her heart before him?
when the world seem not even bother
to interfere.

what makes Samson glance his eyes at Delilah?
and later write the world an epic
together with her?
what makes them better?
for us to adore their tale of love.

if ever Dara exists,
what does she thinks if Uda
stands before her and smile?
will she has the same sense as she had before?
or will she stands and cry?
can we understand her feeling beneath the skin?

tell me what Ledang thinks
when she asked the King those unthinkable wishes
perhaps you can tell me what if,
that Royal blood sees her true intention?

hey kau!

Hey kau!
ya, kau.
kau yang aku panggil kawan.
Tolehlah.
aku nak bertanya tentang kita.
tentang helai kertas yang semalam
kita tuliskan cerita-cerita suka.
cerita duka tentang kita
yang sentiasa derita.
masih kau ingat lagi kawan?
bangunan tua yang kita lalu dan singgah.
yang kita tanam cerita waktu kita
mula berkenalan.
dantukar akal fikiran.
masih kau ingat lagi bangunan itu kawan?
bangunan itu.
hey!
masih kau ingat pentas kecil itu?
yang kemudian kita sama-sama besarkan
ingat kah kau sehingga ke Istana kawan?
kita besarkan bersama dan kita lakonkan segala
watak dunia.
dengan air mata dan pekat lulur-lulur peluh
kerja yang kita suka.
kita senyum juga tiap kali tamat
pementasan. kau ingat lagi pentas kecil itu kawan?
ya..aku tanya kau kerana kaulah kawan itu.

pedih itu...
tawa itu...
tangis itu...
perasaan itu...
kawan itu.

god's gift

over the hill and straight inside my plum heart.
seven colours of rainbow
that can never fail to win the thought.
how can i forget that life is so much to adore.
I must absolutely adore...
the wide hilarious wind of the north
and breezy ocean of silky cotton.
I am thankful to be born in this horizontal shore
if only I can live that long.
so, please God, let me live that long.
a thousand faces that will I meet
a set of different layer that I seek
people that I know and have yet to say hello,
grant me my time,
the time I have wasted before.
I am a gift from above.
to live my life and lead to my God's door.

matahari terbang tinggi

matahari terbang tinggi


jalan ku yang masih jauh
sejauh tapak yang di susuri Qaisy ketika
sunyi dia menjejak si Laila.
menentang segala arus ombak yang
sombong
menerjah arah ku dan tidak pernah putus.
aku inginkan setiap saat aku silih berganti
dengan sesuatu yang bisa buat aku tersenyum
tanpa kesal tanpa soalan tanpa apa sekalipun
asalkan kaki terus melangkah
dan terus menyusuri jalan aku yang masih jauh.
datanglah apa jua sekalipun
biar malam biar hujan biar apa sekalipun
matahari tetap akan muncul
bertanya khabar aku
bercerita sambil teman aku yang mungkin haus.

jadi dengarlah kaki kiri ku
jangan kau berhenti bila hati goda tanpa henti
dengarlah kanan, yang kau harapan masa depan
cukuplah hati, mungkin akan lebih bererti
kalau kau berhenti meletakkan 'tetapi'
kerana aku enggan berfikir tentang sangsi
bukan sekarang ketika jalan yang aku lalui
masih jauh dan setia menanti.

road to redemption

as the wind drifts my fresh thriving face
and swipe my long journey of the past
I began to ponder deep in my thought
about the things that I have now
and the route I blindly followed
where it leads me as my inner ghost
and eat my guilt from within my soul.


Questions that have long waited to be fed
knock me unconscious from the reality
that has long forgive my sins
reminding me of about something that matters
something like my precious me
or things that I take for granted
unwittingly.

another road not taken
another story unwritten
something mysterious unspoken
an experience of broken tone.

good night

Good night

The night is filled with my fire cracking sensation
For it is the time I most cherished and missed…
The time where I can be me
So innocent, free and lively
The talking moon…
The eyes frenzied stars
Beaming to each other like children playing
on the Telok’s beach every Saturday morning.
The lazy owl singing the song of the old folk
And a quartet of bats giving him the back up song
How lovely to feel when the mist
showers the body of the old coconut trees
Giving them their chance to rejoice
after a thousand years of misery.
So peaceful
every time spent during those lovely nights.

datang

aku cerita tentang malam
tentang kabar yang tak datang-datang.
menyorok dalam kegelapan
dan menjerit " bila kau nak datang?"

leceh jugak bila ironi melanda diri
mahu cinta kah aku?
mahu ruang-ruang kosongkah aku?
tapi apa yang pasti,
ironi jugak yang sibuk menari.

mata sudah pinar
semangat makin pudar
hati tunggu mahu hilang segala celupar
tapi tak datang-datang juga kau?

yang ada hanya bayang
datang macam tak datang
akhir-akhir pergi juga dia melayang
entahlah.

aku tanya..." tak boleh kah kau terus datang saja?"
"apa yang susahnya kau malu nak bertandang?"
masuk saja dan tunggu saja aku bersedia.
bila aku sedia nanti kau janji
janji jangan ke mana.

datanglah...
aku sudah cukup bosan.
sudah sampai nak gila.
datang sementara aku belum bersedia
bila sedia, tak perlu aku lena.

tomorrow

i look into the stars
and I see young children of tomorrow
those who will eventually take over us
and perhaps make our world
a little bit better.
I see them smile
and i notice how sweet
their gazing is
telling me that I should
not worry much
because
tomorrow will be alright.

ironi

ironi

aku tanya diri aku
tentang soalan-soalan hidup
tentang ironi.
aku tebus segala susur sejarah
cari apa yang mungkin tinggal
namun tak terjumpa,
walau ada di depan mata.
mungkin itu makna jawapan
atau lebih tepat bila dijadiakan soalan
ironi, bukan?
benarkah?
kalau itu yang paling gembira
sebenarnya paling malang
yang terjadi pada aku..
ironi kah?
mungkin juga.

Aku, Menyesal?

aku tak pernah menyesal
kerana bertemu denganmu
di program kecil gedung ilmu itu.
tidak juga kesal ketika kau potretkan
bingkai kayu itu untuk aku.
aku tak pernah kesal berkencan denganmu.
tak pernah kesal ketika aku cium bibir mu tika kencan
pertamu ku bersama mu.
aku tak pernah ada kesal bila aku jeritkan
lafaz cintaku atas bangku simen
bangunan kayu tua itu.
dan sekalipun tidakkan aku kesal
memilih mu dari kasih model ku.
aku tak punya sesal bila aku
berebutkan tangan mu dan bila
aku rampas mu dari lelaki kaya angkuh itu.
tak sesal juga bila aku jalan bersamamu tiap dinihari
sekitar halaman sambil mengagumi rumah besar
dan tersenyum melihat matahari menari sambil labuh diri.
aku tak pernah menyesal ketika kau pergi jauh
dan aku tunggu hujung minggu kerna aku mahu melawat mu.
tak menyesal bila orang bicara tentang kamu punya hubungan
dengan teman rapat ku.
aku tak menyesal kerana aku percaya kamu.
sekali-kali aku takkan menyesal bila melihat mu
beraksi di atas pentas dengan segala potensi
yang ada pada mu.
walau ketika itu teman rapat ku
baru pergi bertemu Tuhan yang satu.
aku tidak menyesal menjadi peminat utama lakonan mu.
aku tidak menyesal menyemai segala bunga di atas katil mu.
bila tiba hari yang kita sentiasa tunggu.
aku tak menyesal menjadi romantis dengan segala pikir ku.
walau sukar kau faham niat ku.
aku tak sesal kerana mungkin tidak lagi mampu aku
beraksi sebegitu lucu.
aku tak menyesal saat kau jatuh rebah dalam kesakitan
dan memanggil hanya nama ku.
aku tak kesal berlari persis ribut mengejar misi
untuk membawamu ke bilik sakit.
aku tak menyesal bila aku membenarkanmu
mengikut teman bilik itu bersukan
dan tak kesal walau satu yang mungkin itu
yang mengubah hala tuju.
aku tak menyesal kala jerit maki menjadi selalu.
dan tak sesal aku bila kau sudah bercanggah dengan ku.
aku tak kesal....
bila hari itu menjadi hari terakhir antara kau dan aku.
tak ku kesal kerana ego ku berkata begitu.
aku tak menyesal bila kau mula jauh dari ku
dan tak punya sesal bila kau mula ada hidup baru.
aku tak menyesal bila kau jatuh sakit lagi
dan tak kesal bila tahu kau masuk berehat di kamar hospital lalu.
aku tak menyesal kerana bergegas dari kampung halaman ku
dan terus kepada mu.
sedikitpun tiada sesal bila tiba dan di suruh pulang sahaja
kerna dia juga ada di situ dan kau pilih dia dari aku.
aku tak menyesal bila kau mengambil ku
dan kau buang kembali keesokannya.
tak pernah dengan kejadian itu tika tamat pertandingan dan aku pulang bersama mu.
aku tidak mahu ada kesal bila aku jauh dari mu
dan tidak menyesal bila aku kembali dan mencium mu.
aku tidak menyesal menjadi kekasih gelap mu.
tatkala aku tau apa kau dan dia di belakang ku.
aku tak menyesal...
tidak menyesal kerana menghinggapkan jari ku ke pipi mu.
dan hilang akal ku ketika itu.
aku tidak menyesal kerana membutakan mata hati ku.
saat masa hidup ku hampir lupus dengan mu.
aku tidak akan sesal
kiranya ketidaksesalan ku itu
merupakan hanya satu-satunya penyesalan
aku tahu kekesalanku aku hanya untuk kamu.
kamu yang aku jumpa saat takdir hadir.
kamu yang aku selam jiwa saban tahun.
kamu yang aku hilang kerana jalan ku
masih jauh dan kau bukanlah jodoh ku.
mahu apa sesal kalau itu yang aku punya?
itu yang buat aku bahagia.
itu yang mengajar ku tentang cinta.
tentang tangis...
tentang jiwa
tentang bahagia.
mahu apa aku sesal dengan perkara sebegitu indah
yang kau coretkan di dalam sejarah hidup ku.
jadi apa gila aku mahu pilih kesal?
jika itu Senyum ku.
dan mahu sesal apa saat kau tetap yang satu
dan aku gembira jumpa kamu.
kerna tanpa semua itu darimu,
aku pasti kesal sepanjang nyawa ku.


Buat seseorang.

dead calls when i was with you

dead


I am dead
I am sad
so why don't you understand
you can never get me back.
face the fact
that I have long dead
you chose your map
so live your life with your own regret.
learn my list of wisdom
that there are none wise about you
for what I had with you is all you
now I am dead
so bring me the tears we shed
because apparently I am now dead.

we are after all Malaysia

We are after all Malaysian

I eat what you eat
but pardon me for not having your pork.
for there is a limit for me
and that is absolutely a no-no.
I speak my language and you speak yours
feel free to try mine though
but dont mind me if I try yours
for having to speak more than my mother tongue is a bless.
and to learn yours is much that I had ever guess
I enjoy my festive and so do you
I feel proud of my race
and I think you shared yours too
but that doesnt me I dont embrace you
and perhaps you embrace mine too.
I hate your people and I hate mine as well
those who have the mind of the ancient
and refuse to participate.
but luckily I have mine and that is you.
so the future is smiling
and I see me and you.

bayu

tahu kah kau bayu
yang merentas badanku lembut
kala malam bersama cahaya
yang kau telah satukan hatiku dengan hatinya.
sedarkah kau bayu,
yang kau lalu ke seluruh ronggaku
dan sehalus sentuhanmu
telah kau tahan jiwaku dari terus bebas.
bebas bila unggas menyanyi, menanti awan pagi.
tahukah kau bayu.
yang kau gariskan rasa salju diseluruh badanku
dan aku masih punya selimutmu
tahukah kau bayu
yang aku telah tewas dan idamku
hanya kamu.
untuk kamu pergi jauh
sejauh bintang yang takkan ku gapai
kerana kau bayu hanya persisi bintang
dapat ku rasa, dapat ku temu hadirmu
namun takkan tercapai zahirmu.
kau bayu kepunyaan yang Satu
dan kau bayu hanya mampu aku rindu.

hembus

aku hembus
satu dua dan teruskan
aku suka
bila akal ku bebas
bila tiba ku hembuskan
sekepul demi sekepul
angin kebebasan.

rasa tenang
rasa riang
walau tak tersenyum tapi aku senang
masa angin hembusan
melayang terbang.

pufff...hushh..shhhhh

Baris Garis

baris Garis

Aku baca baris garis itu
Satu demi Satu
Membelek tanpa ragu
Sambil ukir bibirku dengan senyuman
Senyuman yang tak perlu aku gerakkan realitinya
Aku kenal kata prosa itu
Setiap butir mengingatkan aku
Kata – kata yang entah dusta entah benarnya
Tapi aku tahu
Tiada aku di sebalik bingkai sutera
Kata tulisan itu.
Aku kaji baris garis itu
Setiapnya penuh makna
Seakan –akan akulah yang hidup di dalamnya
Didalam ceritera garisan- garisan itu.
Setiap patah kata yang aku tahu dekat dengan ku
Namun tetap dan tetaplah jauh akan ia
Kerana tidak mungkin itu adalah aku.
Aku masih menghidu baris garis itu
Seakan membohongi jiwa malang ini
Tentang ada mungkin itu adalah aku
Bodoh dan jelek
Kerana hanya garis
Aku jual filosofi ku
Prinsip akal ku
Egois jantan ku
semata-mata bahagia sesaat yang pasti berlalu.
Terus berlari dari mimpi
Hasil ciptaan garis- garis yang kaku
Tanpa jiwa terhadap aku
Tanpa nyawa yang telah mati dulu
Tanpa cinta selepas aku.

memories

the memories of good old days
playing like a jazz beat that I have long wanting to hear
so peaceful as I lay and enjoy the virgin's night
deep in my thought.
how lovely it feels,
to bare the burden of the sweetest past
not being able to laugh as I used to
unable to re-live the only time that I most happy.
I dig the moment of my serene
with the care of old moon that nicely wont abandon me
not letting me be alone
and understand my restlesness
of being someone who misses his life too much
you surely smile at me.
my memories of such romantic
the only thing i wish once lasts forever
so it can come and visit me at times I need it the most
reminding me what I should never lose
and asking me that i should know
that no matter what storm may it come
I shall never walk alone

journey

the journey taken was short
not enough to fill the gap created by all of his sins
yet he continues his walk
to reach the highest steep he can find.
he can feel his heavy steps caressing his mind to stop.
toying with his soul
telling him that giving up is the glory of the world
and he ought to enjoy what he may reach it before it lasts to none.
the failure is somehow fast reaching him
and over the edge of his dry lips,
he manages to slice his sweet smile
the warmth of his breathe
stroking aimlessly all over his throat
forcing him to accept the fact that he does ever want to accept it
what matters if this is the end of everything
if only lies and deceives awaiting him beyond the boundary
why should he be in agony
when life is only his kind enemy
for all of those words can ever deny his spirit
he knew before no questions should he seeks for
the only thing blazing in his core
is the only thing that helps him
with one end of line
is threading in its beyond imagination
only he could answer this call
for nothing in his life worth living for
if he cant finish this off.

the morning dew

Thank you for giving me the life I needed
and cherished me with the unfaded smile.
whispering me the air that never fail to fill my lungs
and make the sparrow sing at times when the sun forgets to smile
Bless me with ol' memories of the past.
and let it dives into the sensitive side of me.
fill it with all the regrets that I wanted to forget
so I can look at the mirrow and see the reflection of my
own enemy.
let the window be opened
and be the morning breeze caress my face
waltzing gracefully to the sound of morning dew.
the beauty of clouds...
the freshness of the trees...
the joy of children...

God and me

my days are bright
so bright it burns my eyes.
yet i never once complaint
for having to live such days are a bliss.
i feel at peace.
so peaceful i could sing you a song
a song that no one has ever heard of
yet it mesmerizes the heart of everyone
my smiles are pure
for nothing in this life i want to keep a secret
so everyone can smile like me
and live happily.
my life has no ending
for someone will continue it for me
though I might not ever know him
I wish him the best nonetheless
the nature has been kind to me
take me as his friend
and embrace me like a son
If I ever want to thank him
let it be now than tomorrow...

addiction

seven years of serendipity
cannot make me go away
this black clouds will only set its tendency
of my years of adolescence
will it break me at last?
will I be happy with all i have known
to whom this story should be told
only God knows the end
every tap of my shoes
taking me to the land of unnecessary
the heavy burden that i bear
slowing me down and keep me all at bay
i long for someone to touch me
not on my cheek but my heart should she
but knowing i live by my own
in this house of solemn
waiting to rot if nothing should happen to me
though i sad, though i am happy
be it to my soul
and let everything shower my scenery....

zariesworld
pouring

i, the saviour

I, the Savior

The Lust of woman
To whom I love…
The pain she carries
Of which I caused.
The smile reflected of a serial lover
Connected by tiny dots
Of the longest dream
The call of aid
Only that I will answer
Not truss by promises
Not times can hold thy back

weehey

weehey

The creaking sound of the door...
Yellow with nasty gold knob that I could never understand
Why it matches…somehow.
The same old boring faces
That willingly fake their smile and lied to
Their brutish, incomplete and ugly faces.
The sanity perceive by the trapped.
Hoping that something can occur out of the ordinary
Anything…as long as it can change the routine...
The rhyming sound of click.
Made by, god knows how many fingers
That thrust inside and crushes it into the silly computer
How annoying to hear it every day but some how manage
To capture the interesting part of the job.
I can never understand it.
Blue cubicle placed at each side of each other
With just a little window suffice to peek at the neighbor
To smug them by silently telling them that perhaps my
Salary is higher than you
Or my chair is much comfortable than yours
Or maybe I am a better looking than you!
How I enjoy the serenity of this silent and unspoken space
Having to laugh as hard as I could inside without any sound of twitches
And the superior sluggish face overlook.
Ready to extend their power, unwillingly accepted by the inferiors.
I am free in the prison created by me
I am eternal by living in this temporary life
And I am rich by accepting that I fed on my forever happiness..

good Will hunting

Good will Hunting

If I ask you about love
You’d probably quote me from a sonnet
But you can’t tell me what it feels like
To wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy.
Never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable.
Known someone that could level you with her eyes
Feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you
Who could rescue you from the depths of hell
And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel.
To have that love for her be there forever.
And you wouldn’t know about sleeping and sitting up in a hospital room
For months holding her hand.
Because the doctors cud see it in your eyes
that the terms visiting hours
Don’t apply to you.
You don’t know anything about loss.
I doubt you have ever dared to love anybody
That much.

life...a philosophy

did summer talks when you told
that there was nothing left in between
or was it just me smilling sarcastically
to the sign of our bonding scheme
sure it had no mean when necessarilly add to it
but we all know somehow it will hunt us down
like a mad dream in the middle of the coldest weird night
everything we have ever poured in between lies and honesty
how sweet when we were at our teen
but life twitches at us through and through
and left us dying to blame our discreet lameness
that everything is never enough and never loved
we are surely the creature of unforgiven
so try to think if that the brain is suppose to
is this the life we ever wanted or is only it?
maybe ought to give by the passing motions a think of
but eventually the question and the aftermath will linger still
until we understand what is what and why is everyting in this life.

earth

the sun walks through the valley of the doom

where it lays its tired hands in motion

ready to give up the glory of thousands of years

beaming endlessly to our separate souls.

and pour our head with the love of God's

the end is near they say

too many distruction done in so little time

creatures that seemed to

we..are those who forfeit

and diversified in layers of the opposites

soon to be crunched for our own stupidity

and mistified by the mystery that we never had a chance to discover

are we not human enough?or we just never was?

the existance that never quits

and surrender to the enigma and paranoia

give our land the chance to live

for her grace has long desperate to break free

and how she deserves it more than anyone of us do

let we be the only reason we see

you had chose me

with dying heart

that night you were my sunshine
so radiant, blissfull in the world of your own
beyond everything that lies in our imagination
like a sparrow that hanged on the top of the highest sky
you smiled towards me...
in an instant i knew i worth nothing to you
just a petty being in a crowds of diamonds and silks
you came towards me...
i had my life that i knew i can never earn it
not in a hundred years not forever
watching you gazing was hard for me to disintegrate on the air of that night
but if there were ever doubts, you certainly not a part of me
for as hopeless i am to you, you cast a pretty unthinkable image
with that coral on your top figure
and that evenstar glowing from below
and that end me up nicely
to the end of my only hope
but no matter, you had chose me
your sip of drinks were like the immortal
forever there...untouched.
beauty with persona...deadly in control
i justify it with nothing i could ever conjured
but that's the beauty for you had chose me.


zariesworld
inspiration
3.06pm
6nov07

your angelic face

your angelic face





you were a white cloth

that knows no bounderies

timeless in beauty...

exquisite with such smiles you gave to this world

brightens every corner or this darken heart

and relishing me to such atmosphere i never have been before...

every step that you took

in crossing the path of such dry, such beauty as i looked straight to you

your angelic face

every words count as i read your horror end

in the hands of preying monster

i could not even start

as for nothing i endure could ever ease a thousand pain left...

go to the place of forever

for your dearly beloved memory stays with me

and soon i will follow

and pray hard that i go

to the only face i know worth of looking

worth of everything

only you...your angelic face..

zariesworld
-20th sept 07-

sober

when her hope gets sober
dont tell him that you want to be here
sharing the same umbrella
shaltering from the same rain of stars
in the middle of a night...
and then he goes
leaving her with no chance of explaination
because maybe he just knew that what's right is right
and dont ever meddling with the balance
for in the end she will eventually smile
and perhaps still love him
until the hope may finally get sober
the days were sulk with pretty faces
sour lines crumpled as they never thought it could happen
between two path of opposite lane
they must go.in a separate way.
the sun rises as a roman empire
claiming as it is superior than anyone of them
and yet they stand still...unchanged
waving her young hand away for him
dropping her crystal faded cry
and fake smile...asking him to never be.

the rise of Nazism

the sun rises at the dawn of western block
in silent it grows stronger everyday
like a river that sees its end of everything
nothing could ever stop them from the rising

years of oppression and discrimination
living in horror as the bombs and bullets becoming our heir
side by side corpses waltzing proudly at the beginning of their journey
naked with sovereignty...

look deeply in the eyes of the children
do you see hope glitters in surpression
do you see life after your death
or evil galloping your destiny...

make this our fiction of true greatness
for nothing could dismiss the chance of redemption
and let the future sees us in awe
and let them remember we dare ourselves against any odds

rise the people of aryan...
linger in the new light of power among the hunger
forward in your step of greatness
and rule our forefathers for the thirst of glory

zariesworld
1984

mimpiland ep2

mimpiland ep2

the door seems so far from my reaching
the very oak like door with that golden knob
engraved in classical roman mystery
that i knew before my time

i was so sure i have once visited it
stepped beyond it sometime i forgot when
linggered inside it but i know where
but i did..

it was like a land so vast from us
covered with beautiful colored flowers
of lilys, roses, orchids and daffodills
dancing gracefully in morning face

i remembered the tall oak tree that sits in the middle
of this weird black pond..
but somehow seem so alive with the light that came from within.
red yellow and green dots of fishes cherishing my presence..
i knew i saw pheonixes dancing in jubilation in the sky,
the sky was purple. so different than one i recognized before
far from the place i stood,there were movement of creatures
hairiest i have ever seen but some how so mystical they enchanted me
singing an unknown anthem that sooths my heart...

it was too fast to remember anything.
it was suddenly dark and i felt my body flying
everything dissappeared in slow motion
and no happy thought remains inside

i could swear i heard thunder..
but deep in me i knew it was not
so loud the voice it trembles my veins
so angry it almost sound like a volcano errupt...and so i closed my eyes.

i was awake in silence..
to notice that i am all alone
in this cube like corridor that fill with white colour
and a shining light at far end of it..

zariesworld
5.55pm
mimpiland

syurga

syurga

syurga itu ada pada sana
di hati, di minda dan ada pada cara
segala yang telah tercatit dan sedia terbuka
sekali-kali tidak tergapai jika itu yang kita pinta

Syurga itu hidup dalam kehidupan
dengan rasa segala pancaindera
setiap masa yang tak pernah terjangka.
namun begitu halus jika difahami
syurga itu milik kita

syurga wujud telah sekian lama
selamanya di hati dan cara
tidak tercapai bagi yang terlalu menjangka
tidak tertawan bagi kita yang suka melawan
dan gagal dalam neraka dunia.

syurga kau tetap di hati
dan tetap dengan cara semoga manusia bahagia
memahami kau wujud sekian lama
dan biar senyum biar tertawa

zariesworld
9.38am
2/August/07

mushy****Mushy

that rainbow that i know
that sunset that i love
that sonnets that i write
is the only answer of why i wont stop

that voice that i hear
that lips that i touch
that fun that i sense
is nothing sort of any person can give

that confidence that i proud
that dependent that i like
that romantic that i feel
is truly appreciated by none but me

your way of talking
your way of laughing
your way of arguing
is the only way for me to keep loving...


zariesworld
5.27 pm

tuah

Tuah

when the days are old i will see you in a graceful dear
so gloomy the clouds will when i return home
for nights have swore its faith to my faithful vangeance
and i have nothing inside to fear but a burden to bare
so cold it shivers my bone when i was told you did what you could have ever done
to see you welcoming me back with no mercy for i shall showed you none
though your breathe mingle with the death itself
i will follow as what is mine to finish and surely it stays at where it should ever be
tempt me with the power of the superior
for them have dispised me so disgracely with nothing but a life to spare
and i owe them none but your life
for i remember that never once i asked to cross the Yellow line.
your betrayal is nothing sort of a coward
turning your back on our forefathers
and murdering the treaty that we once hold so bravely
and for that i wish death has its mercy upon your soulless body
dignity is all i bare
for nothing pleases me when see your blood fill my lust
for i will forever remembered as one who follows
and you will die as one with love and forgotten son...

zariesworld
5.05 pm
22/july/06

grace and lonely

your wrinkles cracked when i see u laughs
grey hairs that rock my heart off
when i will forever be your dear
beautiful shining eyes that could only say it all
that i want to grow old with you
your body trembles with love
aging flawlessly like a queen
when i see your face telling me
perhaps my dear, the world has gone wrong
and we should grow old together
you speak as nothing worries
even sometimes it makes me feel clumsy
but for your sweet dendallion petals
i die just to have your love
and we could grow old forever..

10.16pm
02july07
zariesworld

heaven's eyes

heaven's eyes


you,
yes you.
the one with heaven's eyes.
that melts away my days
the one with silly weird nose
but never failed to carve happiness within my soul
your smiles that sooth my doubt
the smile of thousand tears
yes you.
forever in me, such a tragedy.
you created a world with your kindness showed to me
a world of your's that i inside it
grateful and symetry, casted perfectly in a jungle clouds of thing beyond
a feeling.
with the heart of the kindness person.
love of such superior.
and touch of a soft angel.
you.
the women i only love.
the one i have truly ever....

zarie's world

life is beautiful

purple blood of november
turns to blue in April that summer sings its lullaby
dancing with crowds in the month of december
where sweetest taste of God's rain pouring on old verendah

early morning where we got up from dad's ragged bed
strolling flawelessly to see the petals shine its sight
in the afternoon we sat. with mom's tasty sambal belacan
at night we stared towards the darkness and stars prevail.

it was twenty years ago.
when i was only a child but life thought me to be an adult
where life is beautiful when you are only a child
and life is so grateful to you

those were really the days i supposed
we laughed and cried for the beautiful part of honesty
keeping no secrets between you and me
those were the days when i was a child.

ephrodesiac

forget all my swearings if darkness prevails
remember my lacking if your only intention is leaving
for never i in awe of the beautiful game they played
and you that can only justify it

so i am the ever adressed black sheep
that is so maticulously hard to be pleased
and failure to some for only wanting to make me happy
and you that can only justify it

why should words need to be place accordingly
where the matter is only the meaning.
why should it be easily changing
and you that can only justify it

so half of you is somewhat vague
where i found it funny that used to be me
questions that need to be ask
and you that can only justify it.

so long i have wait
only to be told that life is unfair
but nay i must say
for life is sweet for those who dare to taste it...


5.01 pm
22june 07
zariesworld

baitulmaqdis

they say those who are glorified lie in the midst of anarchy
silently watch as the weak raise their feet
and hatred filled upon the creed
the angst that errupted and the death remembered

so forth it was foreseen by the people of the past
that united flag we swore to defend
the lord is forever we quoted
the land that is taken by the silly mistake of ignorance
the shame that is unbearable so much we delivered

what left in this world without the pride that was once redeemed
what road should be taken to glorify its meaning
to stumble upon the history as those who lost
and those who have tainted the sword with the blood of our own
rather than those who swore on our eternal doom

so much to ponder that maybe there will come a time
where the past glare its page again
and rise all knights to the legion of oath
from the peasants to the rich
from all bloods that streams only One

there come a time where those will answer
and be glorified as those before us have seen
victory upon those who vaguely perceive
and freedom of all evils in between.


zariesworld
14th may 07
selamat hari ibu

once... a life

once....a life


like a nest that is empty
old ragged torn and quiet
silent picture with coral green frame
looking souless every second that ticks away

the voice of young pods
cracking with desire of never wanting to grow up
imagination that knows no bounderies
and laughter that has only one meaning

how serene it was when it was still green
simultaneously colorful everytime it changed its seasons
the bluest sky that can ever existed
and long patience old strings of river
ready to give birth to every dying wishes and hopes

it feels like only yesterday the memory was recorded
subtle in details, uncomparable.
untaited by metaphors.
the life and desire to get away from this jungle...
and breathe the air that once fill the lung of my ancestors....

goodnight

it was your night
i was your audience
those were your stories
so avidly i watched,
you were smiling..

you were the narrator
that knows no ending
i was your reader
witnessing your tale..

that was where you grew up
it was where you learned things
i was once inside you
and i want never to get out...

that was where i met you
the same where i kissed you
i was on the outside
watching the past together with you..

9.31 pm
22/march/o7
goodnight

sunset

sunset


cranky as it seen, it stays beautiful
wide and simmetry but so mysteriously it speaks
more and lively, everytime she sees it
a swift graceful on land of god's give
as he remembers it, he knew it all along
that the beginning is at the end when the moon wakes up
waving good bye to the grizzly sun
never she fail to give him the peace
that never belongs to human kind...


3.49
21/2/07

no number

no number

on long the summer
that melts it away
sandy beaches full with silver corals
that shines my eyes
and dipped in my smiles
the monstrous rock sitting on the vibe
of mermaid's song
singing the lullaby of broken tears
i listen vermently...
so if the sun sets it tranquility
and the moon jumps gracefully
let me be the one who sees it
for the past it shall be
and now that is left is only me ...
is only me.

unique

lollabunny.


so i am in the midst of a broken silence
longing to stray in deep jungle of hatred
and not believing in what i've become
so hurt that i am
but who knows all about anything that is inside
of a so called ignorant that comprises full of lies
and an odd to your options between the world and the heaven
let me watch you rot and so make it all mine
your game is a chance for one cute redemption
that i long craved for
and a way to escape my bitter symbol of tragedy
so let it rot then.
i sold my penny for a chance to be with the star
of a butterfly that confuses me all along
with her exciteness of other's happiness
even if it's not forever, i do glad that you are here
let me put my finger a step ahead to the reality that i hated the most
and sing all the praises that again full of lies
re-discover the essense of wealth that the earth encompasses with
and swim with the swans across the rainbow again like it used to be
i wander the lights that browsing on your head
and mine that cultivate the feeling desired
collided in our dream
spurn the flowers that wont blooming ...after all.

18th september 06
2.14 am
mali...out

tentang dia dan aku

tentang dia dan aku...

angin kau bawakan kata hatiku
dan bisikkan bahawa dia rinduku
dan kau sulami hatinya dengan kata-kata cintaku
agar dia tahu Dialah yang satu
angin kau selami jiwanya
sedalam zulaikha yang rindukan Yusuf
kau katakan pada kata isinya
yang aku rindukan Dia
dengan apa yang aku pertahankan
aku timba kesabaranku
agar aku tetap cintakannya
agar angin yang membantu
suatu ketika didengarkan
akhirnya
kepadaMu ku panjatkan hanya doa
mahunya angin ku terus menerjah ke kota hatinya
bersatu rinduku dan kau tahu kau tetap yang satu
dan tetaplah kau bersama bayu
tanpa malam tanpa siang kau
berlagu
sampai saat kembali bersatu
tersenyum seperti kau yang dahulu
sampai waktu aku rindu
sampai tika kau perlukanku
pergilah angin membisikkan sesuatu
tentang cinta dia dan aku...
angin kau bawalah aku
mencari mimpi-mimpi indahnya
tetapkanlah aku di situ
menjadi raja
menjadi nadi hingga putus nafasnya
dan aku pergi untuk selama-lamanya
kerna aku tak mampu bersendirian
termanggu dengan rindu
tanpa balasan
tanpa ungkapan yang pernah di bisikkan
tentang cinta dia dan aku...


zariesworld
mid break holidays
04/09/06
jiwa halus

jihad

terbaring sendiri setelah seketika meronta
terlepas segala persoalan yang membelenggu
saat yang ku idamkan dari dunia yang berat tak terbawa
tatkala sang peluru menjunam terus mencium ke dada
cantik ku lihat dunia ku
sayu dan permai, tersenyum aku menudingkan jelingan anak mata
ketika tubuh perlahan rebah meninggalkan jasad
walaupun pekat darah mengalir menyuburkan intifada
mengapa menangis lagi ibu?
mengapa kau jerit penuh hiba isteriku?
apa yang kau dendamkan sahabatku?
bila destinasi ku kini lebih bahagia dari ini
bila haruman keluarga Yassir terbentang menanti syuhada...

slumber

slumber and evil

crank my head with the shape of flake
all snow flow shining bright as it glows
all tree tricks me into the freak heat
sunny all summers funny i was'nt told

crank my head with the shape of flake
springs went by smothered me slow
black smoke filled and drilled my head rolled
zephyr as it shows, green o' grassy field

and to live in the city inner sin
or leave this village of deviant pure...

zariesworld
somewhere around 2.00 pm
7/08/06
ling abb on phonological task...

art, the definition of me

art, the definition of me

art is the physical reflection of my inner thought
my sole desire of an abstract structure
art is useless only to the eyes of nobody
for thee is not sharing and surely thee cannot see
the fondness of fantasy that i feel inside me
art is a form of a revolutionary
an ideology in the making
with the mind that is contributing
like a literature and society
between the sun and the sea
art is the rhythm of love making
the stroke of vivid imaginary caressing the sensitivity
the sound of lovers moaning
and the pain that eases everyhting
though art is so funny
it depicts the social heirarchy
of a man in need like a chess game indeed
so art is useless for it is me and me
the selfish me and it is only me....

03/08/06
1.32 pm
zariesworld
art the definition

urban

urban

i was at the end of the dawn
suffocating the clouds of a thousand black roses
playing dizzy with my unintentional sight
chunking the sound of the screachy trumpets
and here i am in between the lost souls
those who woke up before me i consider them as bold
and those after me i pitied their goal
cracking bones and a twist of hump
rocking my ass off with a jar full of rum
walking with punks i ended drunk
wandering why, before, this land was a nice farm
the siren is blaring though i do not know why
sun blazing its hot destructing my sweaty palm
i lost my patience when i did left her
now i am lost, drowning helplessly in my state of dream...

03/08/2006
1.15 pm
city life full of shit

tanah aku

bangkit untuk palestin

aku benci lambang ber proksi enam itu
kononnya kepunyaan david yang entah jujurkah sejarahnya
lambang kerosakan dimana-mana
simbol kedurjanaan manusia terbuang
aku benci putih dan biru muda itu
warna yang tidak sedikitpun melambangkan rohaninya
yang sepatutnya hanya merah,merah dan terus merah
kerana warna itulah kegemaran bangsa hina sepanjang masa
aku benci negara yang bergelar israel palsu
aku benci setiap umat yang berpijak diatas bumi suci tinggalan ustaz-ustazku
aku benci yang kecil kerna yang kecil itu akan membesar
dan aku tahu mereka akan tetap begitu...
aku mahu menjejak kaki di bumi itu
memegang senjata mempertahankan apa hak saudara-saudara ku
belajar menjadi lelaki dan berjuang seperti Muslim sejati
aku mahu tanah itu
kerana itu tanah aku
tanah bangsa saudara ku itu tanah aku
darah yang mengalir itu darah ku.
aku seru segala roh-roh pejuang agama ku
dari mula zaman adam hingga terus jikalau masih ada pada zaman ku ini
bersatulah dengan aku dan bersatulah bersama umat ku
jihadlah akal ku nyawa ku badan ku.
kerana aku benci negara yang bernama israel palsu
dan aku cinta tanah palestin tanah suci saudara-daudaraku.

Palestine
zariesworld
5.46pm
21/07/06

a nemesis behind my own eyes

a nemesis behiNd my own eyes
one great love of a thoUsand juliets
but a stoRy to tell is a lie anyway
so pay no intention for this is notHing in between

she wAs far behind where i left her
in between my endless bReathe i told her
that she was'nt aware of all the silly Things she said
nor the ignorance that we were havIng at times i were feeling dead
what makes us like this is a questioN i cannot ask
for she will ruIn everything that i know she eventually will...
but over the yeArs our love keep breathing.
images of life is so puRe it keeps running
simplicity turns reAlity of a bright imagination
a step aHead of a daily game we play
darIng each other how far this might go
or may it flows like stream of my childhood dreaM.

190802
keeps on going strong
zariesworld
21.07.6
4.47pm
riddle

bangun dan bangkit

terketuk lagi kita sekali lagi
oleh kata ular-ular besar peneraju kita
yang menyalak bongkak bersendiri menjerit
dialah peneroka ilmu bangsa...
dialah pejuang kebanggaan ibunda.
janji taburan terus hilang
kata pujangga manis nyata mainan semata
apalah lagi yang aku harapkan
bangsa dikencing agama di tawa
dosa apakah kita di perlakukan seperti ini
oleh darah sendiri yang selama ini kita percaya
meletakkan segala-galanya untuk dibanggakan.
tapi bangga kah bila hak di perkosa?
di perkosa dan di perkosa dan terus diperkosa
tanpa ada kuasa untuk bangkit, tanpa sebarang belas
boleh di tagih
ini kah tanah ku?
yang aku fikir terlalu indah walau aku tak pernah menghunus
menghiris sebarang darah merdeka?
salah kah?
perlukah bangsa ku terus di siksa?
di seksa lahiriah dan segala yang ada pada tubuh bermaruah ini...
cukuplah...tolong cukuplah...
bangkit!

zariesworld
5.45 pm
11 julai 06
Nst

semangat keris bangkit kembali

kabur dan bangkit

beri aku makna bebas tanpa bosan
beri aku gembira tanpa tangisan
kerana aku telah lama di sini
menunggu seperti dungu menunggu mati
aku seperti ombak yang tidak pernah kenal erti pantai
tidak menuju, sedikit pun aku tidak lekang dari lamunan hitam ku
kosong tanpa kenal erti jemu
tapi aku tahu ada suatu yang hilang dari khazanah fikiran ku
mungkin lalang juga aku?tapi mana pergi anginnya
mungkin ketam kah aku? siapa guru yang tinggalkan ilmunya
ke hulu aku mencari
kehilir penuh setiap tanah aku redah
namun tetap kosong... yang masih dilihat tetap mata yang satu itu
tetap bangunan bongkah bertunjang satu terpekik terlolong memekik
NEW WORLD ORDER! NEW WORLD ORDER!NEW WORLD ORDER!
pelik? apa yang selama ini aku lihat.
apa yang dari dulu aku jadikan titik pusat satu keajaiban hasil tinggalan paksi hakiki?
memikirkan falsafah yang datang dari tanah rampasan itu segalanya
berjuang kononnya sifat keuniversalannya mengatasi segala- galanya
berhenti aku ketika ini...mengapa?
kenapa langkah gagah yang kononnya tanpa sempadan ini gagal terus berfungsi
aku ada visi...aku ada juang diri. malah terlalu tinggi mengatasi setiap bangunan di muka bumi.
apa lagi yang tak kena dengan diri ini?
bertolak tambah, berkorban sudah...tapi apa lagi?
sejarah...apa yang perlu lagi aku pandang tentang perkara yang dah sudah
kita menuju ke depan dan terus kedepan. kenapa sejarah?
maju lah aku sekarang, sudah tu apa lagi yang aku kurang?
jati diri yang dulu di kurnia, di pegang, di simpan kini hilang?
tidak! terlalu banyak soalan yang aku terlalu malas untuk menyimpang...
lalu beginilah aku tetap dibelenggu
dari kisah lampau yang kabur tidak tergilap entah mana titik satunya
dari mana tapak kaki ini dilahirkan dari siapa akal ini di taruhkan
kenapa kabur? kenapa begini cetek pandangan maju ku...

zariesworld
the spirit of keris
bangkit
5.36 pm
30 may 06

of the exact happiness

19th of the exact happiness

years to take for this feeling to fond
thousand of tears we shared for this only second of breathe
what would i do if i had not found you,
what would i do if i had not found you.
a tiny spot i last remembered be
now growing to shape its meaning entangled the fairy dreams
what would i be if i had not found you
what would i be if i had not found you.
i made a pack with God let me live with mercy
and a deal to myself that let this love stands glory
what would i deal if i had not found you
what would i deal if i had not found you.
a stumble upon our path in front
not to worry my heart for it is eventually be gone
what would i see if i had not found you
what would i see if i had not found you.
so what you say if i plead myself down
do love me now, tomorrow and the rest i would go
because what would i live if i had not found you
what would i live if i had not found you.

sunshine at the far end

sunshine at far end


they say that it will be a long day
that we will not succeed for we know nothing about defeat
they say it's impossible and we barely know how to feed
that sooner or later we eventually slump like creeps
but for those who genuinely keep their faith together
with dignity they strongly believe in the power of unity
i say we fly and let us be with the rainbow
singing and dancing for this passion we shared is no matter buried deep...
to the eternal glory i say we deal
for a dime of passion i say we feel
let this be till the end of our friendship
let the taste of light be guiding us to the things we keep
sunshine at the far end
sunshine at the far end

9.15 p.m
wednesday
17th mei 06
zariesworld

a side of injustices

a side of injustices

a story of that damn bridge played us like never before
between two nations too hard to for them to chew
politically incorrect they feed us with
and again victimized by our equal right of not to know
why should we pay when there is none of the promise
do we earn this much to be equally treated like fools
are we not what we are those raised by your future agenda
or simply unimportant a burden of your hellish command.
simplified the matter that has long haunted us deliberately
for once speak the truth, honest in things you do
for this salvation needs its ending and lies shall not ever rule
then we follow you like what we agreed upon to...

25th april o6
12.11p.m
zariesworld
politically adjustment

politically unheard

a nations bridge

a bridge of controversy is what we called
separated the two nation of a great lenght of ridiculous
playing its citizen like an old board of chess
dominating our thought and imprisoned it like they should never not.
are we not dolls that we deserved to be treated like this
are we foolish enough to secure our insecurity
then must we not open up our eyes and broaden clear of our idiocracy
a matter of future we are now heading towards the infidelity
it was a bright move to honour your country
by protecting our soils and standing proud for our people's glory
but why need somekind of hazy explaination covered with all sort of dishonesty
for we questioned it for the sake of our abandoned priority
in majority that are now fully supportive
u have us behind your back if ever you needed to
let us show that we are a proud nation filled with determined future
but so not to be forgotten that no army could make us yied in inferiority...

monday
4.14 pm
24th april 06
in between the hypocracy

resident evil

a resident of an enigma

i was there when they burnt down the yellow cottage of her
without a pity we left her lying motionless with a breath to catch
satisfy with our own indegenious that was unbearable for me to see
and we killed the whole riddle that left us with no answer to match
years come by and lots of things had happened
i am still here watching your mystery in fear
questioning every single thought playing with the smallest clue
what have we done here,are we all the killers
is it just a coincidence that she is now not here
what happen then, if the past is not like what it has written
are we still living in this enigma do we still have to re-live the dogma
or a painful ending i feel i believe is haunting to our last fear...

27th march o6
zariesworld
paradigm of illusive fear
1.30p.m

psycho????

psycho's test

it was hard like hel
took me quite a while to regain my conciousness
i had to pretend for all i care
and smile like it was easy and i had a great time answering...
but it was'nt like that at all
an irony of the words spilled and a motion of an unwarranted thought
i quizzes my self prediction and justify my credibility
i ran onwards around and around
i sat over the edge and i cleaned myself out...
what kind of feeling was that
why was i?

mimpiland

my side is dream of a thousand shrines
acknowledge through my dream it kept me from breathing
a pure senseless air of a magical world of mimpiland
such beautiful to ponder i walk in sight of a wonder imagination
an irony of this life it offers me with generosity
that helps me clinging from the happiness that it brings
amaze me with this long awaited fantasy so i can sing away my previous reality
left me with possibilities that i know i can once be cherished
the flowers of angels that i saw with an awe
that a tree of such exciting that it grew enormous candy
what a world of illusioned that it creates a beyond
with perfect maze i let myself play with its space...

first part
4.43 p.m
friday
zariesworld
episode 01

untitled

untitled

sitting here watching the peaceful dawn
as the little wind breezes me soft down the stream
i look upon myself and try not to regret those silly things i did,
and forget my past if ever i needed to...
as i lay naked willingly let the morning view raping and stripping my inner thought
and washing me away from every sin i repented...
i seem less to care.
afraid that my mindless mind taking incharge the feeling
so i can be capture in a prison called life
and let me suffocate from those indeginous actions...
i was merely stunned paralyze
without knowing the pride planted inside is getting dark and hollow...
it screams little pain and squeks
so i can follow andnot to lost again...
as i write this,i trapped in a massive confusion
and this mind inside keeps orbitting my faith,
having its own damaging unconventional war
about what is holy and what is eventually not.
playing with my untoyed emotion begging me to supply
the answer whether this is infact just a life-long experience
or simply a tormented obstacle of thousand lies
beneath the face i conjured touches it until the end
catching me up and off i go.

6.05 a.m
24th june 04
zarie's world
from dusk till dawn

ecstacy

ecstacy

if i may say so let me first exclude you from us
so i can be free, free from your gruesome ecstacy
because you have been poisoned me much
and make me dependent upon you
clinging on your flower delight
and live like your dully parasite
i fond of you for what you did to me
shaping me constantly like a bud that is eagerly blooming
making me your dream of a theatre that fully entertaining
and make me sing a song that you composed of a thousand hummings
but a lie has its ending and so what lies upon us
you have to go my dear away with your addicted fear
for you have no used to me not now i perceived
and live your life away for once without me
and i am happy right now that i can breathe freely
the fullest i make out of everything laid infront of me
to see me straight into your eyes that i trapped forever
you still my ecstacy for the least i could still remember...

zariesworld
3.01 am
16th january of 06
not you dear...